IntroductionBy not so popular demand, this is the official homebrew thread. Beer, and alcohol in general, is a big part of life. Let's not beat around the fucking bush here. It is the one thing that comes close to a fix all panacea. It disinfects wounds, eases emotional pain, it gets fat people laid, it looks good, smells good, tastes better, is the perfect accompaniment to stellar international dishes such as Chips and Kebabs, makes people gullible and easily swayed, and, in some circles, can even be used as currency.
Also implicated in at least 19000 deaths in 1998. (Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, 1998.)Beer, wine and spirits are readily available from just about anywhere in Australia. Even remote aboriginal desert communities. So, why even bother making it at home?
Well, there are a couple of reasons.
1) After a modest investment in some brewing gear, it’s cheap as fuck.
2) Its fun to experiment with different things.
3) It’s easier than getting raped in prison.
4) You get ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES at the end of it.
5) You can make just about anything you want.
I wouldn’t have a fucking clue about distilling spirits, or brewing wine, so I am going to focus on beer. I basically made this thread to share a few things that I've learned about making beer at home, maybe inspire some of you cunts, and maybe learn a few things off you too. Everyone is extremely welcome to pitch in with their experiences.
BeerI’ll just cut the shit and get to what’s important. This what you will need to brew beer.
1. This address: Units 2 & 3 Stock Road Market Complex, 40 Port Pirie Street, Bibra Lake, Western Australia 6163
This is the store where most of the other homebrew stores in town get their fancy shit. They guy who owns it, Roy, is a really nice bloke and seriously knowledgeable. He is also missing fingers, which means he is a
total badass. He knows everything about beer, and his store is pretty much the only place you can get liquid yeast cultures and other things like fresh hops.
2. Cooper’s MicrobreweryThis package contains everything you need to brew, and also includes one beer kit in a can, brewing sugar, 30 plastic longnecks, and carbonation drops. It costs just under 80 dollars, and is great value for money compared to anything else. Also contains:
- Hydrometer: This allows you to mesure the specific gravity, or density of the wort.
- Fermenting bucket: What your wort lives in while it matures into beer.
- Sticky thermometer: When over 9000, engages laser.
- Airlock and grommets: Stop greeblies and possibly Jews from getting into the wort and snotting shit up.
- Some shitty sanitiser: Not worth your time.
- Little bottler: Makes it at least 100 times easier to put beer in aforementioned bottles.
3. A keen eye for cleaning and sanitising. If you don't, your beer will suck. It's that simple.
4. A keen eye for cleaning and sanitising. If you don't, your beer will suck. I really mean it.
5. A keen eye for cleaning and sanitising. If you don't, your beer will suck. You are going to fuck up and continuously fuck up if you don't ensure utmost cleanliness.
6. A bottle of Idophor, and a bottle of Pink Neo. Available at any good homebrew store.
Cleaning and SanitisingIf you didn't understand before, this is important. Sanitisation is required to prevent nasty infections that will make your homebrew taste like a felcher's vomit, or turn the alcohol in your beer into vinegar.
This is an acetobacter infection. This would be the vinegar turning one. This happened because I missed a crack in one of my fermenting buckets during sanitising. Cracks = bacteria = ruined beer. This was supposed to be a Hoegaarden.
Idophor is my steriliser of choice, and a good one to start with. It's a mix of phosphoric acid and iodine, and is more quick and effective than anything else I have used, with the added perk of not needing rinsing afterwards. The product
Pink Neo is really good for cleaning the yeast cake off the bottom of a finished fermenter and other bits and bobs. I boil my taps and fittings in water after cleaning. I also use a dilute solution of hydrogen peroxide for general sanitisation.
You can never be too clean. My cleaning regimen, as an example: Gentle soak and scrub with pink neo, rinse with hot water, second scrub with pink neo, second rinse with hot water, fill fermenting bucket to the brim and add 25mL of Idophor, soak for at least 30 minutes. Drain through the tap, and then boil the tap for a few minutes. Voila, ready for wort. When doing any cleaning, it is really important that you use a soft cloth. Scratching the inside of a fermenter will guarantee infections time and time again, as these tiny scratches can inadvertently harbour millions of bacteria.
Ale or Lager?There are two main types of beer, lager and ale (there is also a third variety, called lambic, which is unique to Belgium, but lets forget about it for a while). Lagers and ales may share many characteristics; they can also be completely different depending on how they are made. The only thing that definitively distinguishes ales from lagers is the type of yeast used during fermentation.
AlesAn ale is made with a top fermenting ale yeast, that means that the yeast floats fairly evenly throughout the wort, and fermentation occurs throughout the wort. Ales are generally known to have stronger, fruitier (estery) flavours than lagers, with many types of ale getting a lot of their flavour from the yeast. They ferment at higher temperatures than lagers, ideally you want to ferment ales at
18 degrees, for about one to two weeks. Most of the kits you get for homebrewing are supplied with ale yeasts, the notable exception being Cooper's premium Bavarian lager.
Some examples are Cooper's sparkling and pale ales, any stouts such as Guinness or Cooper's extra stout, James Squire's amber and golden ales, Little Creatures bright and pale ales, Weihenstephaner Hefeweißbier, Leffe blond and brune, Redback, Hoegaarden, the list goes on.
LagersA lager is made with a bottom fermenting lager yeast. This means that the majority of the yeast settles to the bottom, , and most of the fermentation occurs on the yeast cake that forms. Lagers often have a cleaner, crisper taste, most of the flavour comes from hops and malt, with very little flavour coming from the yeast. A lager is more complicated to make for a home brewer. Firstly, they require better temperature control than ales, needing to be fermented at around
13 degrees for as long as three weeks. Furthermore, they require a short period of higher temperatures (around 16 degrees) for the
diacetyl rest which is the process where the yeast breaks down nasty buttery flavours. Finally, as lager yeasts are prone to producing horrible fart-like smells, the beer needs to be tapped off from the fermenter and stored in a separate container to condition for well over a month.
A few examples of lagers are any Australian mass produced beer except for Cooper's i.e. Victoria Bitter, Tooheys, Swan, Emu, XXXX. Better examples include Becks, Stella Artois, Pilsener Urquell, Bohemian Pilsner, Bock, Fürstenberg, Memminger, James Squire pilsener and Amstel.
ConclusionOkay, you get the general idea. This is the absolute minimum to brew beer. The beer made straight from the kits won't be terrific, but it will be good to drink. If I can add one more thing, I really, really must stress that sanitation is the key to homebrewing. To make better beer, you will need to get a few more ingredients, but I'll get into that a bit later.
Hopefully, that's food for thought. I'll prepare ingredients tonight for an American Pale Ale, but as the flash on my camera is shit, I'd rather take photos during the day. We'll see.
IndexTechniquesUsing a hydrometer
Cultivating your own yeastRecipes
Recipe 1: American Pale Ale part 1, part 2
Recipe 2: Belgian Brune
Recipe 3: English Bitter
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