I was 18 and went to The Loft with a couple of mates. Before we left we smoked a few joints between us but I'd hardly ever smoked at the time. On the way we got McDonald's (the shame) and more beer. By the time I got there I was already half cut, feeling quite stoned and my stomach was feeling off from eating crap. Once we were there I was drinking more and more. about two hours later I felt the sudden and violent urge to throw up. I managed to get up and start staggering to the toilets. As I was crossing the dance floor I saw a girl from high school I used to have a huge crush on. She saw me, walked towards me with a huge smile on her face and put her arms out as if she was going to hug me. All of a sudden I threw up but manged to keep it inside my mouth. Then I threw up again with my mouth closed already full of spew. There was a little bit coming out and there was another follow up. I threw up on the dance floor in front of her and ran off the toilets. I just kept vomiting and vomiting. When I came out I stank of spew. I tried to talk to her again but she wouldn't have a bar of it decided to leave with her friends. Bitch.
Stan and Wendy much?
HAHAHAHA... didnt even think of that!
here's one for you bong heads out there.... you'll like this one Trease.
BONG OLYMPICSA sunny September day in the year 2000. It was the year of the Sydney Olympics. This meant virtually nothing to the boys, as sport was fairly low on the agenda and drinking alcohol and smoking weed was near the top. This spurred the idea for one of the most spectacular Olympic sporting events since that first Olympics games held in Greece at the original Olympic Stadium ? the 2000 Bong Olympics. It was arranged for Lok and Haydz to go over to Klaassen, Ned and Robz?s house to participate in this inaugural event. The entry fee was as much weed as you could bring, and whatever you wanted to drink.
Haydz had arranged for a bag of premium quality bush weed to be sent up in the mail from down south. He had a good, reliable source, and the weed he supplied was very nice smoke. To the casual smoker there isn?t a great deal of difference from one plant to another, but to a hardy expert it can make the world of difference. This was grown in a chook pen in the backyard of a house, which means it was in high quality, heavily fertilized soil. They were tight, juicy buds, nice and sticky, but fluffed up a lot when you put scissors to it. It gave a nice high, slow to come on and a nice long peak. All in all there was roughly an ounce that Haydz had to contribute as his entry fee.
Klaassen had managed to score half an ounce of hydroponically grown, skunk type hooch. This stuff was intense. It was coated in a white crystal type of resin, and was almost literally dripping with THC. Hydro weed, as it is commonly referred to as, is a much more intense high than that of naturally grown, naturally fertilized plants. Because it is heavily fertilized with chemicals, rather than natural substances such as manure and compost, this passes through the smoke, and affects the taste and the feeling of the buzz. A much more chemically induced high, although still enjoyable, to many it?s not quite as pleasant as the natural product. Never-the-less, beggars cant be choosers, and hydros were much easier to come by in the city than bush weed.
Robz also brought a $50 bag to the table. His too was hydros, but of a different variety. It was similar in look, taste and stone, but came from a different source, and was obviously a different strain, not that it mattered to any of the guys. Ned had a bit of weed in his tin as well. A few hearty buds of some fine bush weed, different to Haydz?s, but just as good. They all put their separate piles on the table to see how much there was in total. Klaassen had quite a nice, medium sized wooden bowl which he used for chopping weed up in that was already on the table with a few cones worth already in it, so they all decided it would be a good idea if they chopped everyone?s weed up into the bowl and made one big mix.
The stage was set; 4 competitors being Haydz, Ned, Robz and Klaassen and an official, in Lok. They cracked a drink, sat at the table and Matt proceeded to chop the entire weed pile up with scissors until it was one big bowl of mix. Robz and Haydz decided now was a great time for a game of pool, so they grabbed the cues and racked the balls up. The pool room was actually more of an enclosed verandah, with half height brick walls separating it from the backyard so a nice gentle breeze would blow through and cool the whole place down. The fridge was stocked with beer, the music was at a nice, talkable level and the anticipation of the bong Olympics they were about to compete in had everyone in a great mood.
Klaass had finally finished chopping by the end of the first game of pool, so Haydz and Robz sat at the table to get ready for the event to start. Klaass freshened up the bong water, as he knew this was going to be a big session; one the likes had never been seen. He sat back at the table, pulled the bowl in front of him and packed the bong up. He handed it to Lok first who officially opened the games with the lighting of the bubbling torch. It was apt that Lok begin proceedings seeing as he wasn?t actually competing, but you can?t have an official that isn?t stoned in a bong smoking contest; it?s just not right. Lok finished his cone, cleared the hose and passed it back to Klaass. He then packed it again and passed it around the table, and did so until everyone had enjoyed their first cone. The Bong Olympics had officially begun.
During that afternoon the boys played a lot of games of pool, and smoked a lot of bongs. They each had a score sheet in front of them and would mark it off on a tally as they smoked, all the while Lok making sure everything was official. The games of pool started to decline in skill by about the 15th cone, and the focus now was more on smoking cones and keeping their eyes open. As they sat around chatting about nothing in general, they continued casually smoking cones. The loosely organized rule of thumb was, once someone had a cone, it had to be a full round of cones. If you declined, you were out. That kept everything even and also made it easier to keep track of how many cones were smoked, in case someone lost track. Lok had the occasional bong in between rounds, but very few and far between. He was smoking at what would normally be considered a fairly high rate, although this was the gold medal event after all.
Cone number 26 rolled around. Klaass went first. He nailed it back like it was his first. He was in fine form today and broke out as early favourite. Ned and Robz stopped their game of pool to come join in the proceedings. Haydz was up next. He lit up the cherry, started to inhale slowly as he whipped the flame around the cone piece in a circular fashion. The chamber quickly began to fill with thick white smoke as Haydz started sucking harder. Then the collapse happened; hot embers pulled down the hose and into the water one by one, making a hot, dry spitting type of noise, like rocks falling down a funnel. He released the button on the lighter, took his thumb off the shotty hole and inhaled the chamber in one breath. A seasoned pro was Haydz; no-one could pull a cone with more finesse or style than him. He handed the bong back to Klaassen, rocked back in his chair and blew the smoke out up into the air.
Up next was Ned, who was eager to keep up in the race between the two big guns in Haydz and Klaass. Deep down he knew he would be struggling, and was probably going to have to settle with a Bronze medal. Everyone knew it, after all Ned wasn?t exactly the biggest person, especially standing next to his 2 counter parts. He grabbed the bong out of Klaassen?s hands with rabid enthusiasm ? well, as much enthusiasm as someone can have after smoking 25 cones. Like a highly trained athlete he placed the bong to his lips and began to light it up. Ned had a different style to Haydz. He preferred to suck the whole cone down, leaving his finger on the shotty hole. He would then exhale the first breath, and go back with a fresh lungful of air to clear out the chamber. This would prove to be a very effective method.
Robz, having witnessed his competitors suck back on their 26th cone with ease seemed a little nervous. He grabbed the bong, but didn?t seem focussed. His hand was shaking, his eyes were almost closed and so red there was no white left, and his voice was now just a quiet undecipherable mumble. He put the bong to his lips as the other boys watched on in anticipation. They knew the end was nigh for Robz, who had put up a valiant effort thus far. He slowly smoked the cone, taking several breaths in and out to complete it. He put the bong on the table, pulled himself out of his chair, mumbled something about ?sleep? and staggered inside into the lounge room. He was done. He lay on the couch, was asleep as soon as he was horizontal, and didn?t move until the next morning. It was still light outside at this point in time.
Haydz, Ned and Klaassen all knew they were assured of a medal now, it was just a matter of which colour it would be. This gave them new life as their spirits lifted and they continued on to play pool and drink beer, all the while still smoking cones throughout the afternoon. It eventually grew dark and the events carried on into the night. Not too far into the night however, as the mull was starting to get to their heads. They were still neck and neck at this point in time, and had each just smoked over a dozen more cones in the 2 hours since Robz retired. Haydz put the bong down, marked down his cone on his piece of paper, exhaled and sipped on his drink. They had officially reached the 40 mark.
Everyone started to really feel the pinch now, and were all very cautious about continuing on. It was almost a draw, but there was no way that either of them were going to let that happen after all this hard work. Klaassen picked up the bong, packed the cone and handed it to Haydz, who declined and gestured that Klaassen himself should smoke it, since he was so eager to carry on. Without hesitation the cone was gone into his lungs. With that, Haydz knew he had to have another. He packed it up and smoked it back, marking down his 41st cone. He felt weak at this point and began doubting himself as to whether he should, or even could carry on. While his head was trying to compute all this information, Ned grabbed the bong and hurriedly nailed another one back. The official score was now 41 all.
Through hazy eyes, Klaassen packed another, much to Lok?s amusement, who had smoked about 6 cones by this stage and was at a nice, content high. Ned was up first in this round, and he smoked it back with a grimace on his face. They were getting much harder to deal with now. Haydz looked at the bong, and then looked at the bowl, contemplated for a minute, and then he conceded.
?I?m out guys, I can?t go on.? Haydz took a Bronze medal with 41 cones smoked. The battle for Gold was now on the table. Klaassen and Ned sat at the table, knowing they were only one more scalp away from winning the inaugural Bong Olympics. They had to carry on. They couldn?t stop at 41 and share the gold with Haydz. It just wasn?t going to happen. They both smoked their 42nd cone each, now cementing the fact that they had beaten Haydz, at what some would say was his own game.
Klaassen stared at Ned as he proceeded to pack cone number 43. Ned stared back, half due to the competitive stare, and the other half due to being too stoned to shift his focus. They both finished cone 43 and contemplated calling it a draw. They discussed this for a while as Haydz sat at the table, barely moving and just watching the events unfold. Not wanting to merely call it a draw, Klaassen battled on, smoking his 44th cone. He packed it up, handed it to Ned and asked the question of Ned whether or not he wanted to give up. It was obvious Ned wanted to quit, but his will to win was urging him on. He smoked his 44th cone, placed the bong down and with a smoky declaration, conceded that this would be his last. He was to finish on the grand total of 44.
With this, Klaassen packed another, very slowly. His brain was barely functioning by now, and he wasn?t sure if this was really a good idea after all. It was far too late for rational thought though, so he robotically put the bong to his lips and smoked it, almost as if it was instinct to do so. He placed it on the bench, successfully smoking his 45th cone as Ned stood up and shook his hand, knowing that if he didn?t call it quits now, it was just going to keep going until someone?s brain imploded. Haydz congratulated both Ned and Matt on their feisty fight to the finish line, happily taking bronze rather than engaging in the fierce battle that he had just witnessed. All the while Lok was happily drinking and laughing at how stoned the competitors were. The final score?
Gold medal ? Klaassen ? 45 cones
Silver medal ? Ned ? 44 cones
Bronze medal ? Haydz ? 41 cones
4th place ? Robz ? 26 cones.