Barry had a rough day at work and was in a foul mood. To make matters worse the night before his TV had finally broken down. Last night he missed out on his favorite TV show Sabrina the Teenage Witch and since he had not had it fixed or replaced it with a new TV it seemed inevitable that he would miss out on his favorite show again.
Barry decided to walk next door and ask Neville if he could watch Sabrina at his house. As usual Neville was irritable. "What time is your show on?" Neville asked. "6:30 mate" said Barry. "No you can't. Dot likes to watch Neighbours at 6:30" "shit mate c'mon I promise I'll buy a TV tomorrow" "No I can't let you watch my TV. But I've got a TV in the shed you can buy for $50 if you want". "Yeah, I dunno mate does it work alright or what?"
?Yeah, it works good alright"
Together they went to the shed and Barry started to carry the dusty TV back to his house. He was about to cross the alleyway when Neville said "Aren't you forgetting something?" ?What mate? Sabrina starts in 5 minutes?" ?The money? The $50?" ?Yeah, yeah, yeah mate, don?t worry about it I'll give it to you tomorrow. I have to go to the bank to get it out." "Alright? said Neville "But make sure you give it to me tomorrow."
Barry took the TV inside and tried to set it up on the kitchen table as fast as he could. It was only two minutes to go until Sabrina started and Barry was trying to tune the picture in. One minute to go "Shit, I'm gonna miss the start". Barry looked at the clock and looked at the TV. For the next few hours he fiddled with the knobs pressed buttons and generally just got pissed off. Two nights in a row now without Sabrina made it seem like it was weekend. Barry had had enough of the TV and decide he did not want to buy it after-all because it didn't work properly. By now it was late and Neville would probably be in bed. I'll just leave it at his front doorstep and he'll know that I don't want to buy it Barry thought. And so he did just that.
The next morning Barry went about his usual routine and at 6:30 closed the door behind him to leave for work. Hey? There it was. The same TV he had returned the night before on his doorstep. That old bastard must have put it there in the middle of the night he thought to himself. Barry carried the TV back to Neville's house and left it by the front door. "Stuff ya TV mate" he muttered to himself as he walked away and then left for work.
Barry had a particularly bad day at work on Friday. Much worse than usual. He pulled his truck into the driveway and locked it up. While he was walking to the front door he remembered the TV but was relieved to see that Neville had got the message because it was not there. Barry still could couldn't watch Sabrina and decided that tomorrow afternoon he would go and buy the newest, cheapest TV he could find. No more of this old crap, always breaking down. They just don't build 'em like they used to.
Later on that night Bazza was dreaming about making love to Sabrina when he was awoken by a noise outside. Thinking there was some-one out there he quickly got dressed and ran to the window but couldn't see anyone. He grabbed the baseball bat from behind the and slowly opened the front door. No-one was there. Wait a minute, what is that? No? it couldn't be. It was back! He didn't want the piece of shit, didn't Neville know that? So he wants to play wise guy does he, thought Barry. "I know a way to fix him...hahaha".
On Saturday morning Neville rose early. He couldn't wait to get to the markets to try and sell the rest of the crap in his shed. It was good idea to sell that TV to Bazza he thought. I'll get that $50 out of him yet. Neville knew that Baz liked to sleep in on Saturday's so there would little chance of being seen returning the TV to Bazza?s doorstep. Four hours Later Neville returned from the markets pleased with himself because he had sold almost half the crap he taken with him to one stupid family. He was not so pleased however when he saw the shattered remains of what was once a slightly dysfunctional television. Now he would have to pay for the TV because he broke it. He decided not to return it because there would be no point really.
Barry was feeling much better after releasing some pent up anger. He was in his backyard drinking beer and enjoying the sun and 94.5FM.
Neville was also in his backyard. He was putting back into the shed what little junk he failed to sell at the markets. Just as he was about to walk back inside he heard Barry singing along to the endless stream of songs by U2, Phil Collins and Pink Floyd on 94.5FM. Neville stood on ancient pack of bricks that sat next to the fence for years and peered over the alleyway. Yep? that was Barry singing alright.
Neville couldn?t contain himself. "You bastard! You owe me $50 for destroying my TV!"
The radio quickly went to silence and came the reply ?.
Soon a full blown argument broke out between Barry and Neville.
"You want your fucking money! I'll give you your fucking money!" Barry ran inside the house and went into his bedroom. Underneath the bed was a large half full money tin that had long ago been broken open. Barry grabbed the tin and ran outside to the backyard. Neville yelled out "Are you going to give me my money for the TV or what you prick?"
Barry responded with "You want your money do you? You want your money? Here's your fucken money!" With this Barry reached into the tin and began throwing handful after handful of loose change over the alleyway. Neville yelled loudly out over the fence "What are you doing you idiot, you just hit me in the head with a two dollar coin." "You wanted your money didn't you? Here it is now shut you old bastard!!!"
Showers of loose change flew across the alleyway into Neville's backyard as he ran inside to ask his wife to inspect his forehead for bruising or any damage that he might have incurred. For the small group of kids who were walking down the alleyway Christmas came early that year.
Needless to say Baz and Neville didn't speak for weeks after that.
