Author Topic: Recently Single Al Gore Finally Able To Listen To W.A.S.P. Albums  (Read 2187 times)

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Offline BaileyHorizon

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NASHVILLE, TN?Finally unhindered by his wife Tipper's 25-year-long household ban on violent and sexually explicit music, former vice president Al Gore, 62, reportedly embraced his newfound independence this week by listening to the albums of the heavy metal band W.A.S.P.

"For the first time in decades, I get to play the kind of music I like without someone nagging me about what a bad influence it is," said Gore, sitting on the floor of his living room as he cued up the song "Animal (Fuck Like A Beast)" on his stereo. "And I get to crank it up as loud as I want."

"These guys are kicking some serious ass," added the two-term U.S. Senator. "Check out this guitar break coming up?it's nasty."

Gore, who was prohibited from hearing music with graphic sex, violence, or drug references since Tipper founded the Parents Music Resource Center in 1985, confirmed yesterday that her crusade was "total bullcrap." In addition, Gore said that listening to the forbidden W.A.S.P. albums over and over again had not turned him into a satanic dope fiend as his wife and her associates had warned.

"It sucked because we always had to listen to garbage like Carly Simon and Lyle Lovett all the time," said Gore, who told reporters that he was "loving" being single again. "That stuff is lame, man. If it doesn't have big balls and bigger riffs, get it out of my stereo!"

According to Gore, being deprived of artists like W.A.S.P., M?tley Cr?e, and Ice Cube for so many years only made him more curious. The former presidential candidate claimed that finally hearing them all for the first time was "like having [his] brains shot into outer space."

"I can't believe I wasted half my life helping Tipper put warning labels on this stuff when I could have been seeing these guys do their thing live," Gore said of W.A.S.P. "They used to whip raw meat at the audience. How bad-ass is that?"

"Cause I'm burning, burning, burning up with fi-ire! " added Gore, screaming the lyrics to "Wild Child."



Offline EvilElvis

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Re: Recently Single Al Gore Finally Able To Listen To W.A.S.P. Albums
« Reply #1 on: August 04, 2010, 07:43:49 PM »
Looks fake. That article orignated from The Onion ( http://www.theonion.com/ ) which is a piss take kind of newspaper in the U.S.

But then again, he's just been cleared of attempted rape of a masseuse so maybe WASP has done him good.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20012342-504083.html


 


Offline goat

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Re: Recently Single Al Gore Finally Able To Listen To W.A.S.P. Albums
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2010, 07:57:59 PM »
hmm, yep looks sus for sure.
Gorey's a touch burlier than that, plus im not sure his decore would stoop that low. :laugh:


Offline Mago_Haydz

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Re: Recently Single Al Gore Finally Able To Listen To W.A.S.P. Albums
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2010, 08:07:12 PM »
nice socks
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Offline BaileyHorizon

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Re: Recently Single Al Gore Finally Able To Listen To W.A.S.P. Albums
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2010, 08:14:20 PM »
Hahaha, woops. Hadn't realized it was fake, but pretty funny anyway :P

Offline EvilElvis

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Re: Recently Single Al Gore Finally Able To Listen To W.A.S.P. Albums
« Reply #5 on: August 04, 2010, 09:15:47 PM »
THIS is real:



« Last Edit: August 04, 2010, 09:35:11 PM by EvilElvis »

Offline BaileyHorizon

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Re: Recently Single Al Gore Finally Able To Listen To W.A.S.P. Albums
« Reply #6 on: August 04, 2010, 09:33:37 PM »
So is THIS:



Offline EvilElvis

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Re: Recently Single Al Gore Finally Able To Listen To W.A.S.P. Albums
« Reply #7 on: August 04, 2010, 09:35:29 PM »

Offline nihilist

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Re: Recently Single Al Gore Finally Able To Listen To W.A.S.P. Albums
« Reply #8 on: August 05, 2010, 01:57:53 AM »
How the fuck could you not think it was fake? The tone of the article makes that extremely obvious.

No wonder I'm so misunderstood.

:'(
My hands are choking, my knife is broken.
An orgasm is what I need.
Your blood is spilling, the sight is thrilling.
To cum I need to see you bleed.

Offline chantian_deanie

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Re: Recently Single Al Gore Finally Able To Listen To W.A.S.P. Albums
« Reply #9 on: August 05, 2010, 08:09:02 PM »
Nihilist why are you getting so upset? It's just a misunderstanding you don't have to get so upset about it... you should get counseling I think you have emotional issues.

Offline Mago_Haydz

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Re: Recently Single Al Gore Finally Able To Listen To W.A.S.P. Albums
« Reply #10 on: August 05, 2010, 10:58:49 PM »
Nihilist why are you getting so upset? It's just a misunderstanding you don't have to get so upset about it... you should get counseling I think you have emotional issues.

I think you have penis issues
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Offline nihilist

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Re: Recently Single Al Gore Finally Able To Listen To W.A.S.P. Albums
« Reply #11 on: August 05, 2010, 11:01:58 PM »
I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's commenting ironically knowing I'm not upset at all.
My hands are choking, my knife is broken.
An orgasm is what I need.
Your blood is spilling, the sight is thrilling.
To cum I need to see you bleed.